Why kids - and we - struggle to disconnect from screens

Screens are everywhere in our lives, and they are designed to capture our attention. 

But why is it so difficult to disconnect, even when we want to? The answer lies in how our brains are wired and how tech companies use this to create environments that keep us engaged. 

Here are five psychological and physiological reasons why it’s hard to turn off the screen, especially for our children.

Dopamine rewards

The brain releases dopamine, a neurotransmitter that provides feelings of pleasure and reward. Social media, games, and apps are designed to trigger this release through stimulating colorful designs and unpredictable rewards - such as likes, new levels, or notifications - which makes us come back for more. 

Features like infinite scrolling and “pull-to-refresh” were even inspired by slot machines in casinos, using the same psychological mechanisms to create excitement and anticipation to keep us engaged. 

These rewards can be even more tempting for kids, as their cognitive development is still in progress, so they are more sensitive to this kind of stimulation.

 

Attention manipulation

Digital platforms are specifically built to hold your attention for as long as possible. In fact, there are 8 key features that make it especially hard to disconnect.

For kids, this might look like watching a whole season of a show without realizing it or getting lost in a game for hours. The longer they stay engaged, the more chances companies have to show ads or product placements, which bring in profit. This cycle can be tough to break, even for us, adults. So for children or teens, it can be especially hard because their brains are still learning how to control attention and resist distractions.

While kids try to figure out where they fit in, this need for social approval becomes even harder to resist. 

Social validation

We all crave social approval, and platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok give us constant feedback through likes, comments, and shares. This desire for validation is exploited by tech companies to keep us interacting with the platform, reinforcing the habit of checking and rechecking our devices for new interactions.

When it comes to children, this need for validation can be even more intense. They are still building their sense of identity and learning fundamental social skills. The feedback they receive from likes, comments, and shares can significantly influence their self-esteem and self-worth. While kids try to figure out where they fit in, this need for social approval becomes even harder to resist. 

When they're bored or upset, screens offer an easy way out, to avoid dealing with tough emotions.

Escape from boredom or negative emotions

Screens offer a quick escape from boredom, loneliness, or negative emotions. When we feel down or need excitement, the instant gratification of digital content or social interaction can make it hard to turn away. The need for distraction, entertainment, and immediate rewards keeps us coming back, even when we’ve been online for too long.

This need for an escape is even stronger for children as they’re still learning how to handle their feelings. When they're bored or upset, screens offer an easy way out, to avoid dealing with tough emotions. For instance, when they’ve had a difficult day at school, they might jump into a game just to escape the frustration, feeling better momentarily but avoiding the real issue. 

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In the end, understanding these factors can help us develop strategies to balance screen time, protect our family’s cognitive health, and create healthier digital habits for both adults and children. 

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