Approaching your child about breaches

Quick checklist

Congratulations! You have decided on new and better digital habits to implement in your family.

But one thing is knowing what to do, another thing is doing it - and sticking with it. Changing our habits takes practice. It won’t happen overnight so we should expect that breaches will happen.

Kids want to do their best, and breaking the rules is rarely a rebellious attack on the parents. Usually breaches happen because they don’t have the necessary tools at that moment - that's when we come in to offer support.

Here is a quick checklist we can use to avoid getting into powerbattles, and ensure we are in the right mindset.

1

Am I okay with my child facing challenges and frustration at times without letting it affect me?

2

Can I stay calm and firm when needed to help my child deal with the frustration?

3

Do I have the patience to give several friendly reminders?

4

Am I curious to understand what happened from my child's perspective, rather than assuming and accusing?

5

Am I focused on reminding my child why we agreed on it, rather than being upset about ‘breaking the rule’?

6

Am I open to listening to my child and being flexible if part of the agreement needs to be adjusted to everyday life?

7

Am I able to give my child a sense of agency, so they feel part of the solution?

8

Are the consequences for breaking the agreement supporting learning and connection?

9

Do I need to ask for help or advice from other adults?

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