Digital interactions and online communication

The internet and our digital devices have provided us with several new ways to communicate and interact. This has done wonders for our ability to stay in touch and connect with people worldwide. 

Today, we can communicate face-to-face online via video calls in real-time, or we can send messages that include video or voice recordings. We write text messages, have group chats, and write comments on social media posts on the go. We can communicate in real-time or connect and catch up at a later time, as it fits our schedule. 

We can communicate with loved ones living far away or talk with people we don't know or have never met. We can interact with the webpage or social media profile of companies or news media to voice our opinions. We even find ourselves interacting with random online profiles where we are not aware of who is at the other end.

Communication can take place through reactions such as ‘likes’ to posts or comments, by sharing photos or status updates, or through silence by not responding when we are expected to. Both the little heart and thumbs up symbols, or their absence, have come to have real emotional value for us.

Additionally, there are emojis, GIFs, and Memes that help us express ourselves in more than just words and offer a nonverbal, visual touch to texts or simply replace the written words. Their presence adds emotions, mood, and a physical context to any message.

Digital interaction online has drastically changed how we communicate and connect. It provides new tools for social interactions we use within our communication and relationships. 

As a result, the framework for social interaction and friendships has changed, and our kids grow up in a different world than we did, with new digital tools to use and new features that shape their social life.

As convenient and fun as it might be for kids, this is also a way of communicating and interacting that reaches far beyond the family and close circle of friends, and allows strangers into their “inner circle” of whom they can interact with.

Additionally, online interactions have some shortcomings when it comes to clear communication and true connection. Misunderstandings and conflicts happen easily when we only communicate through texts and don’t hear the voice or see the face of the other person.

Needless to say, children's digital interactions online come with a number of risks for parents to be aware of. While we are learning to navigate this ourselves, we also need to teach our kids how to use technology wisely and safely in their social interactions and in their communication with friends and strangers. 

Introduction to digital interaction

The opportunities given to us by technology to improve our communication and interactions with other people also come with challenges. 

While there are many benefits for us in the way technology has changed how we communicate, there are also important issues with digital interactions that we need to teach our kids about. 

• The communication style and features in online interactions can easily cause misunderstandings or compromise empathy and safety in our interactions.
• Issues with safety and consent in what we share online or in a digital space. The lines between what is public and private and who has ownership of content are blurred in the digital world compared to the physical world. Exposure is everywhere, and if unaware, it can have negative consequences for someone's safety and digital footprint. 
• There are no boundaries when it comes to time or location of where and when we can be reached. Technology enables us to be reached anywhere, 24/7. As much as we find it beneficial, it also has a downside.  
• What are digital interactions? 

Our devices allow digital, interactive ways of communication that completely change the framework around how we stay connected. Digital interactions describe any kind of interaction involving the digital communication features available to us. 

The list of digital ways to interact is long and constantly expanding:

• Phone calls - We can be reached anywhere at any time, even through wifi, no longer depending on expensive subscriptions. However, many young people no longer prefer phone calls as their main method for staying in touch.
• Reactions to posts, comments, and messages. We are able to communicate through reactions in many ways and to many kinds of content. This usually happens by clicking a heart or ‘thumbs up’ symbol, or other featured emojis expressing an emotion. 
• Text messages in texts or chats. We communicate through text messages in group chats or private messages, as saved messages or messages that disappear after being read.
• E-mails - We send instant digital letters as e-mails.
• Sending photos - We communicate through pictures, like when sending ‘snaps’, where the message is sometimes only a photo, and text is not always needed. We send photos to friends and family and upload them for the public to see online. 
• Comments - a lot of online communication happens in comments to posts, either on public or private pages. These can take form as debates or conversations, or just as short verbal reactions.  
• Video calls - We have the opportunity to connect face-to-face through video calls.
• Voice messages - Voice messages are often sent in chats instead of text messages. This allows one to hear the tone of voice to avoid misunderstandings. It also provides a faster way of sending messages than when you have to write every word.
• Visual effects - Emojis, GIFs, Memes, visual reactions that communicate a feeling, mood, or physical context. These visual additions to written conversations or comments help communicate nonverbal messages that are not easily translated in written texts.

Multiple apps, software, and social platforms have been developed to facilitate these many ways of communicating. The digital social landscape is constantly evolving as new technologies, platforms, and trends come and go.

The devices we use also shape how we communicate. For example, smartphones enable us to be reached at any hour of the day, and notification settings on our phones make sure we don’t miss an update or message, prompting us to react instantly.

Comparing online vs. Face-to-face communication

There are some key differences when it comes to online vs offline communication. A lot of online communication happens through text without any face-to-face interaction.   

It is often said that less than 10% of our communication consists of the actual words we speak. The rest lies in body language and tone of voice, neither of which is a part of most of our digital communication unless we are connecting through video calls, phone calls, or voice messages.

This way, a lot of communication is lost when we don’t see the other person's face and hear the tone in their voice, but only receive or send the written words in text messages.

When communicating face-to-face, we receive instant feedback on what we are saying through nonverbal cues such as the other person’s facial expressions and body language. 

Additionally, we send a lot of non-verbal signals ourselves to support what we are saying through tone of voice and body language. 

These minor non-verbal interactions and reactions are noticed right away, even when we are not aware, and serve as support for understanding any underlying intentions and emotions. 

When communication is through screens, true feelings can be missed, misunderstood, or purposely hidden.

Especially, if we don’t know the other person well, we can’t always tell if the written reply is authentic and if the words were written in anger, in empathy, or in a hurry, and we might read things into a text that were not intended. Equally, we can’t be sure how our own words are received, for example, whether our jokes were found funny or hurtful. 

Why tone gets lost in text

Text often “sounds” harder than it is intended, especially when capital letters are used or there are no emojis to soften the words. Sometimes, the same sentence can both sound kind or angry, depending on how you choose to read it.

• “I hope you get what you deserve.”
• “NO, THANK YOU”
• “Have a nice day!”
• “WHY DIDN’T YOU COME YESTERDAY?”

Adding emojis or not using capital letters quickly changes how the words are perceived and helps avoid misunderstandings.

Role of emojis and slang

Emojis, memes, GIFs, and photos can add the emotional and physical context that words lack. The use of slang, trends, and specific insider jokes and expressions can work as a symbol for familiarity and connection.

Many emojis, memes, and GIFs can add facial expressions and underlying emotions to written texts when used truthfully. Then they serve as the missing puzzle piece to understand the mood behind a message.

The visual effects we add to our text messages breathe life and a social and physical context into the written words, and give us a chance to understand the emotional context.

• ok

• Okay 🥰

• Okay 🥴

• OK!!

Using emojis, capital letters, or other visual additions to our messages can help communicate a mood or context when used in a way the other person understands. 

However, even with the use of emojis and other helpful visual effects, it can still be misused or misread. It is easy to send a happy emoji as a response while you were actually deeply hurt by a comment. Face-to-face, it would be harder to hide hurt feelings. 

There can also be individual or cultural differences in the interpretations and use of emojis, especially across age gaps. 

For example: 

💀: The skull means death or danger to some, while symbolizing something funny or laughter to others 

😭: The crying emoji describes sadness to some, while others use it to describe positive feelings like happiness or that something is very funny.

🙏: This emoji means prayer or thank you to some, while others use it as a high five.

Why parents need to pay attention to kids’ online behavior

Even though our kids might be seen as digital natives, they are still beginners when it comes to practicing empathy, consent, and staying safe both in the real world and in their digital interactions.

The freedom and endless possibilities that technology adds to our interactions also have the downside of lacking boundaries. We can be reached anywhere at any time, and by anyone. 

The digital features can put pressure on young people to constantly be in touch with friends, or make it difficult to stay away from the screen for longer periods of time.

Children need their trusted adults to guide them safely through the digital world and to raise them as competent and confident digital citizens. When it comes to their online interactions, there are three areas where parents need to pay attention.

1. Online communication and relationships
2. Issues with sharing content and public vs private
3. Lack of boundaries
   

1. Online communication and relationships

Misunderstandings

Often, there is a risk of misunderstandings happening when children communicate online. They need guidance in managing conflicts and misunderstandings that otherwise easily can escalate when not resolved face-to-face.

A missing reply might be caused by the message getting lost in a full inbox, or the receiver being busy or asleep, while a young person might think their friend got upset and purposely doesn't want to answer. This can cause speculation and worry in a young mind, resulting in conflicts or unnecessary drama.

Empathy

Behind a screen, it is easy to be mean or forget that there is a real person on the other end. 

Online, it can feel easy to communicate words that we don’t actually mean, delivering hurtful messages for no reason. People might say or do things they would never do in person.  

The fact that our messages don't come with instant feedback and we are not met by the other person’s feelings and reactions to our words makes it easy to forget that there is a real person on the other end.

This is why empathy often struggles in the digital environment. Children usually need to be reminded that their words have consequences. They might not be aware of the consequences of their words, especially when mean comments are aimed at someone they don’t know.

A harsh tone online can be contagious and quickly contribute to a harmful culture, making it seem okay to be mean to others.

Safe communication 

Technology and online communication features make it possible to connect with anyone, whether we know them or not. People communicate through various accounts and profiles, and at times, it can be hard to verify the identity of the person we are talking to.

Obviously, several safety risks are involved in this practice, especially for children who lack the experience and maturity to identify and protect themselves against fraudulent or harmful behavior. 

If privacy settings for children's online channels are not in place, they risk being contacted by strangers with bad intentions. Each day, a high number of predators and scammers try to reach children this way. FBI estimates that at least 500.000 predators are online every day looking for victims.

Statistics show that 60% of kids interact daily online with people they don't know. Children need a certain age and maturity to handle this kind of online interaction. Parents must ensure privacy settings are in place on their children’s online platforms, and guide them on what to look out for and how to stay safe.

The open lines of communication and the public digital spaces where children meet online also make them more vulnerable and exposed to trolls and bullies with harmful intentions. Bullies can reach random victims via anonymous profiles, or bullying from school can follow the victim home and continue the bullying through phones or computers. 

Parents can have a hard time knowing what is going on in their child’s inbox or on social media, unless their child shares their experiences with them. This can make it difficult to protect children from cyberbullying or other harmful people.

Online communication replacing meeting up in person

Connecting online can be a great way to stay in touch when physical meet-ups are not possible; however, it shouldn’t replace the physical presence of a friend. Many teens get in the habit of meeting up online instead of in person. They may need support to nurture their friendships outside school and screens, too.

2. Issues with sharing, exposure, and public vs private

Specific issues with digital interactions are found in the combination of online exposure, blurred lines between public and private, and the fact that any content can be shared by anyone, regardless of whether they are entitled to or not.

Safety and digital footprint

Content is so easily uploaded, copied, and shared online. We risk exposing too much about ourselves, or that our data or photos get into the wrong hands. Any content or information we upload could be shared without our knowledge or consent. 

This might compromise both our digital footprint and safety, exposing us to a degree we are not comfortable with. Especially children have a hard time predicting the consequences of what they upload and what is safe to share. 

They may also be unaware of the legal rules surrounding consent and ownership of private content that is shared with them. 

Exposure

Through our digital devices, we have access to our own private broadcasting channel with ourselves as the editor. Social media channels and websites make it easy to share thoughts, ideas, photos, or anything else with the world.

This might be exciting for children. However, public exposure might also subject them to negative reactions from strangers, which can have harmful consequences and be deeply hurtful. 

The screen may also serve as a protective shield, giving the false feeling of protection and making it easier to expose private information in some situations. 

Privacy settings control whether the audience is a small number of close friends or if the content or inbox is publicly available for anyone with access to the platform. This is part of the reason why privacy settings are so important to have in place before teens start broadcasting their lives on social media.

Blurred boundaries between public and private

Even with all the privacy settings in place, you still can't be sure who will get access to what you share online. Anything can be copied and shared without consent or stolen from your device. Many kids don’t realize that what's online never goes away, even on private accounts or chats.

Lacking boundaries around what information is publicly available, who can comment on content, or access the profile or inbox, raises some safety concerns. This is especially important for children. 

Naturally, children lack the knowledge and experience with the dangers of the world. At the same time, they tend to act impulsively and trustingly with little regard to the possible consequences. 

3. No boundaries

Online interaction features enable endless opportunities to be in touch 24/7. This creates issues around boundaries for our communication and interactions.

Many experience trouble disconnecting from communication or constantly keeping up with what is happening online.

Group chats with multiple contributors can go on endlessly without a break. Many young people feel a need to stay up late and keep up with the conversation. 

They may experience pressure and an expectation to respond to messages right away, in order not to cause conflict or misunderstandings. 

Especially when some platforms have a built-in feature that shows if messages have been read or not, not answering a message you have read can easily result in unnecessary drama between friends.

This lack of natural boundaries can make it very difficult for both children and adults to disconnect from the constant stream of communication for longer periods of time.

This is often made even more difficult by the pull of the attention-seeking features of communication apps and social media, playing on dopamine and feelings of reward.

Common misconceptions about digital friendships

To children, their online world is often just as real and meaningful as their offline world. For anyone who didn’t grow up in a digital world, this can be hard to understand. 

The gap between generations often creates some misconceptions about children's friendships and digital life. 

1. “Digital friendships are not real.”

Sometimes friendships that only exist online are not seen as real friendships with real value by parents. To many kids, their online friendships can be both real and meaningful friendships. 

Often, online friendships revolve around online games, where teams meet up to play against each other. Friends can have known each other for years without ever meeting in person, but only communicating through text or voice chat while playing. 

Online relationships are not necessarily shallow and impersonal. Many people feel that it is easier to open up to someone they are not face-to-face with. Online friendships can work very well. They can be a great support for kids who suffer from loneliness and struggle to find friends in their local area.

However, there is a lot to look out for if your child is connecting with strangers online through social media or gaming. We can never be sure who someone really is if we haven't met them in person or know them in real life. 

2. “Nice people online are always safe.”

We can never know who is at the other end. Judging them on how they behave is not enough. The most dangerous people online are often the nicest. Children must understand this and inform their parents about any new online connections.

It can sometimes be easier to talk about something difficult in writing instead of face-to-face, when you can avoid eye contact and not need to say it out loud. This can make it feel safer to talk to someone online. 

However, this can also make someone more exposed and vulnerable, and predators and scammers are aware of this and use it to their advantage. A way for predators and scammers to win the trust of their victims is to act very kind and understanding at first, to give the victim the belief that they are friends.

Children might feel protected by the screen and tempted to share more than they would in person. They might not be aware that they are, in fact, more exposed when communicating or sharing through a screen. What they share or write can be taken out of context or used to exploit them. Both scammers and predators often use this tactic when winning over their victims.

3. “It's not very harmful if it only happens online.”

Parents can sometimes struggle to understand that the online world, virtual belongings, or events hold real value to children. 

Children can be deeply hurt or harmed by something that happens online, even though it didn’t happen to their physical body or belongings. 

Many kids will be heartbroken if they are scammed in a game and their digital belongings are stolen. Consequently, parents may struggle to provide the right support when their kids are scammed. 

Often, people are meaner to each other online than offline. It can also be easier to be mean to someone online than in person. It might not feel real when you don't say the words out loud, but just write them, and don’t see the other person's face.

However, to the one receiving the comments, it is just as hurtful, maybe even more so, when they only read it without the whole context or hear the tone of voice, etc. Especially, if they don’t know who is sending the mean messages, it can feel scary, not knowing if it’s someone you already know. 

What parents can do

Parents must have conversations with their children about their online relationships, and control who young children can connect with.

Connecting online can be a great way to stay in touch with friends who have moved away or family living far away. However, families need to establish rules around who it is okay to be in touch with online, that are in line with your child's age and maturity.

Families should also discuss what is okay to say or write online, and what should be kept private. 

In addition, we need to teach children how to react if someone makes them feel uncomfortable, for example, by pressuring or threatening them or asking them to keep secrets from their parents. 

First of all, they should always tell an adult, and know it is okay to end a conversation online if they don’t feel good about it or to block and report the other person.

And last but not least, children should know to never meet up with someone they don’t know outside the game or chat. If kids want to meet up with friends from a game, they must have their parents involved in setting up and supervising the meeting.

It is our job as parents to make it feel safe for them to come to us. We do this by being open and curious about their online activities and inviting them to share their experiences without the fear of being shamed or punished for making mistakes.

The role of digital interaction in kids’ lives

The internet and digital world offer a variety of interactive activities for kids online. There are many fun ways for friends to interact and stay in touch. Not many kids today go many hours without being in touch with their friends.

In many ways, the online world has made us both more connected and disconnected than ever, and without a doubt, a big part of our social life is lived or facilitated online. 

How digital platforms shape modern childhood

When children's social interactions take place online, like on social media and gaming platforms, there are several things parents need to be aware of. 

Most of these digital spaces serve purposes other than simply facilitating communication and creating a space for social connections. They often have a whole other agenda. 

Online influence and commercials

Supporting social connections is not the main purpose of social media, but instead a way to keep people's attention on the platform. Many social online platforms serve as a way for companies to reach customers and attract attention to their products. 

As a result, many kids are being influenced and manipulated for commercial purposes when they scroll through the addictive content that is shown on the platforms they initially used to connect with their friends. 

Especially, teenagers are heavy users of social media platforms, and parents find it hard to keep them away or prevent them from using social media. Often, this won't be the solution either. 

Keeping teens from their digital communities while their friends are still there will often come with another set of problems. 

Most kids find it hard to disconnect from social media because then they will lose a part of what their friendships are about, as well as the opportunity to stay in touch after school. They also miss out on group chats and other social events online, risking missing important information. 

It can be a great challenge for parents to balance their children's online presence, as their social life depends heavily on the digital space. It can be better to work on delaying their online debut and getting the parents of their friends and classmates on board.

Positive and negative effects of online interactions

There are, without a doubt, several negative effects and safety risks related to life online. 

However, the digital world also offers unique opportunities for interacting with friends, worldwide connections, and for children to explore hobbies and interests, as well as following role models on a new level.

It is not strange that parents find it difficult to navigate this and are unsure of when to keep their kids away and when to support online activities. The list of both positive and negative effects of online communication is long.

Negative effects:

• Cyberbullying and unhealthy group dynamics and communities
• Misunderstandings and friendship drama
• Scammers and predators
• Feeling outside or excluded from online groups
• Lack of boundaries for when to be in touch
• Negative influence of harmful content and commercials
• Meeting online instead of meeting friends in person

Positive effects:

• Supporting positive connections
• Connecting with friends online after school, constantly being in touch
• Joining supportive or educational communities 
• Staying in touch with friends and family far away
• Staying up to date on important information. like invitations for events and group activities
• Receiving attention and connection from friends

Understanding the risks of poorly managed digital interaction

As parents, most importantly, we need to understand the risk of children's unsupervised digital interactions. Besides friendship drama escalating much worse consequences arise from communication that lacks respect and empathy, and where misunderstandings are frequent. 

Children figuring out online communication without guidance, while being influenced by peers and social media trends, may develop bad habits around online interaction or become part of a harmful culture.

Since there aren't always natural consequences when being mean or hurtful online, kids might not even be aware of their harmful behavior. We can’t count on kids learning respect, empathy, and consent on their own without the feedback of others.

Offline, we often notice children's disrespectful behavior or language right away. Parents don't always see when something happens online, unless their kids tell them. This is why we rely on them, inviting us into their online world.

60-80% of kids don’t tell their parents when something harmful happens online. We need to gain their trust for them to feel safe confiding in us and sharing their experiences. When children's digital interactions go wrong and they don’t receive the right guidance, they risk several harmful safety and health issues.

1. Misunderstandings in text-based communication

Misunderstandings can happen in text-based communication, where tone of voice and eye contact are missing from the conversation. Words often sound harder in text, and the same sentence can sound different to different people. Especially when having fights over text messages, conflicts tend to escalate quickly. 

Even with the use of emojis, communication can go wrong. How we understand emojis can vary, and we might not know if emojis are used truthfully.

2. Group chat dynamics

Group chat dynamics can sometimes be unhealthy or dysfunctional. Mean behavior towards people in or outside the group can spread as a trend or a bad habit, making it seem okay to behave this way. People can feel bullied by what is shared in a group chat or feel excluded if their friends or classmates form a group chat they are not part of.

3. Being excluded and emotional impact

Being excluded from social media or online communication by a group you would otherwise be part of, like classmates or a friend group, is a form of bullying. Being rejected from groups you belong to is very painful and should be addressed as bullying.

Besides feeling hurt, the victims are also unable to keep up with agreements to meet up or other important information, risking not only being excluded online but also offline. 

Scrolling through classmates' updates featured in the social media news feed or hearing people in school talk about what they discussed in a group chat you are not part of serves as a daily reminder of the online life you are not part of. 

• Feeling outside or being excluded from online groups can look like:
• Not being tagged in friends' photos
• Not knowing about the events or photos that friends talk about
• Not being part of group chats or groups where a lot of conversations take place
• Not getting invitations sent on social media
• Watching photos online from parties you were not invited to, or friends' locations revealing they are all hanging out together, but didn’t invite you.

4. Overloading and 24/7 interaction

Many children may need help establishing boundaries for when to be in touch with friends online and when to take a break. It can be a good idea to agree on a time to catch up on friends’ messages or when to turn the phone off, and let friends know, so not responding to messages late at night doesn’t cause misunderstandings or conflict the next day.

5. Grooming and harmful online behavior

When children and teenagers communicate with strangers online, there is always the risk of being contacted and groomed by predators or scammers. This is something parents should look out for. 

Younger children shouldn't be able to communicate with others online. Older kids should know it’s crucial to discuss any new online contact with their parents, and always get help, report, or block if someone makes them uncomfortable or pressures them. 

6. Privacy issues

When kids interact and communicate online, there is always the risk of sharing information that should be kept private, either that of others or their own. This could be passwords, addresses, or photos. Sharing personal information or content could compromise their digital footprint and safety. Therefore, we must discuss with our kids what is okay to share and what is not, and when they need to ask for consent before sharing anything about someone else. 

Parenting strategies for healthy digital interaction

Children explore and experiment with the digital landscape and language available to them, quickly becoming “native speakers”. Their curious, trusting, and playful attitude leaves them open to everything the digital world has to offer.

However, their naivety and immature nature call for guidance and role models as they practice and experiment with online or digital interactions. The challenge for parents today is that this form of communication is often something they are unfamiliar with, and it is hidden on the screen.

When our kids talk to their friends or get in fights in the real world, we are often nearby and aware of what is going on and where help is needed. Online, a lot of communication happens unsupervised, not giving adults a chance to intervene or guide children in the right direction. 

This digital challenge calls for effective parenting strategies. As parents, we must make a conscious effort to be invited into their digital spaces. This way, we can provide the support they need to master the digital language and behavior.

It’s an option to do so by secretly monitoring conversations. However, this way of supervision comes with the price of a distant relationship with our children, without trust and connection. This way, we lose the chance to connect and teach them at eye-level how to make better choices, because it feels right, and not out of fear of punishment.  

 

1. Start early: building a foundation for responsible communication

When children begin communicating online, parents play an important role in guiding them through this new part of their social life. Joining them now and then helps you see who they are talking to and how conversations unfold. 

Make it a habit to ask about what’s happening in a group chat and show an interest in their online social life as well. Sometimes they may need help sorting out issues with friends online, and parents’ perspectives can make a big difference. 

Talk about how texts and comments can be understood in different ways and how misunderstandings happen easily without tone or facial expressions. Reflect together on hurtful messages and how their words might affect others. 

Finally, discuss what is okay to share online and what should stay private, and explain why these boundaries matter for their safety and friendships.

2. Set digital boundaries and rules

Setting digital boundaries helps kids build healthy online habits. A good way to start is by creating a family agreement together, where everyone has a say in screen time rules and expectations. 

This not only makes the rules clear but also helps children feel involved and responsible. The agreement should be seen as the new habits you want to practice. As you know, building new habits takes time and practice, so be patient and supportive. 

A good way to handle breaches in the agreement is to use slip-ups and mistakes as pinpointers of where more support and kind reminders are needed. 

Discuss when and where devices can be used, and agree on limits that balance quality screen time and offline activities. By modeling good habits and explaining why boundaries matter, parents show kids how to set digital boundaries that support safety, well-being, and family time.

Screen time management

Screen time management for kids works best when families agree on clear routines together. It can help to manage screen time without conflicts when you agree on individual limits for specific games or online activities that adjust to the natural flow of the activity. 

Conversations with friends or team-based video game battles may need more flexibility, while scrolling social media or watching movies will do better with a fixed time limit.

By knowing your child's favorite online activities, it will be easier to set fair and respectful limits that are meaningful to them.

 

3. Encourage transparency without invading privacy

Kids have the right to privacy, and respecting that helps them feel trusted. A good way to teach respect and consent is by practicing it ourselves as parents, for example, by asking for consent before sharing photos of them online. 

At the same time, children need to understand the importance of transparency for their safety. Discuss what is okay to keep private and what should always be shared with parents. Talk openly about how secrets can be dangerous, especially if someone online asks them to keep secrets from their family. 

The Raising Digital Citizens Conversation Cards are a great way to start regular discussions that foster trust, encourage openness, and strengthen online safety. This way, you will get important insight into their digital life without the need for invading privacy and creating distrust and distance between you. 

How to build trust

Parents can build trust with their children by truly listening to their perspective with curiosity and respect. Show genuine interest in their hobbies, games, and online activities, and acknowledge their feelings even when you don’t fully agree. 

By sharing our own point of view and the reasons behind certain rules, it helps children see that boundaries are not about control but about care. Equally, when we are authentic and admit our own struggles or mistakes, like how hard it can be to put the phone away, we teach transparency and that mistakes happen. This makes it safe for kids to come to us if they are ever in trouble or make mistakes.

Respect and fairness are key. If your child disagrees with a rule, listen to their arguments and be open to making adjustments if needed. Admitting when you’ve made a mistake shows humility and builds mutual respect, and it teaches them to do the same. 

At the same time, be clear and firm about the rules when necessary. Kids should be allowed to find it difficult. They are kids and still practicing, not fully capable of impulse control and self-regulation. 

We probably recognize how hard building new habits can be and have difficulties ourselves turning off the screen, even as adults. We make learning a lot easier when responding with support rather than blame or scolding, and when we show them that it is safe to disagree with us.

4. Teach empathy and respect online

Parents often wonder how to teach empathy to kids so they act respectfully online as well. 

To start, you can model how to show empathy in your communication, both offline and online. Children often model their parents and copy their behaviour. If we make it a habit to speak respectfully about people we disagree with or when writing comments on social media, we have already come a long way.

Another way to teach respectful online behaviour is by practicing consent ourselves by openly asking for permission before sharing pictures of someone else, including our kids. Nothing teaches respect more than being treated respectfully yourself. 

When it comes to social media sharing many of us forget that our kids have the right to decide what is posted about them online, too. 

Parents can also openly discuss when seeing hurtful comments or messages online, and this way encourage children to reflect on what is okay to write to others and what is not. We can also discuss what kids can do if they themselves see disrespectful or mean behavior online. 

They might not always be comfortable speaking up, but they can get help from an adult instead. By practicing consent and encouraging reflection, parents show children that empathy and respect are just as important online as they are in face-to-face interactions.

5. Be a role model

In the end, nothing teaches kids respectful and safe behaviour like when their parents show the way by modeling the healthy habits themselves. If we model the behavior we want our kids to learn, we are off to a great start. 

Parents can lead the way on anything from practicing consent when sharing photos, keeping screens away from important moments in the day, communicating respectfully online, and modelling digital etiquette in general.

Practical tips for managing day-to-day digital interaction

Managing daily digital interactions and ensuring online safety works best when families focus on open dialogue, trust, and regular conversations. By taking time to discuss what children are doing online, parents can guide them in making safe and responsible choices while building a strong parent-child relationship. 

Trust and communication create a foundation where children feel comfortable sharing their experiences, challenges, and questions about their digital life. Creating a family agreement can further support these habits. 

Agreements clarify expectations, set boundaries, and help everyone understand which behaviors are safe and respectful online. They also provide a framework for practicing new digital habits, from balanced screen time to responsible sharing, making it easier to maintain consistency in day-to-day life.

Conversation starters about digital life

The Raising Digital Citizens Conversation Cards are a practical tool for these discussions. 

These conversation cards allow parents to explore topics like social media, online privacy, gaming, and digital friendships in a structured and engaging way. 

Often, parents are at a loss for what to ask. Their children’s digital world and hobbies might be a mystery to them, which makes it impossible to know what to ask about and how to ask the right questions so they will make sense to a child.

By using the Raising Digital Citizens Conversation Cards, children are encouraged to reflect on their own behavior, consider others’ perspectives, and practice empathy, all while parents gain insight into their child’s online world. 

These conversations might otherwise feel challenging or intimidating, but when using the Raising Digital Citizens’ conversation starters, parents report that the conversation flows naturally and feels easy and safe. 

And the best part: It connects parents and children, building great relationships based on trust and understanding.

Family digital contracts and templates

Creating a Raising Digital Citizens Agreement provides families with a framework to guide online behavior. By creating an agreement together that clearly outlines screen time limits, safe sharing practices, and household rules and values around device use, you ensure that everyone is on board and finds the rules meaningful.

When children are involved in drafting the agreement and their perspectives are heard, they are more likely to take ownership of the rules and follow through. Even when they struggle or refuse to follow the rules at times, finding their way back is easier when reminded why the rules were important in the first place.

By treating the agreement as a living document, open to discussion, review, and adjustments, it becomes a supportive tool for building healthy, responsible digital habits while maintaining a balanced and safe online environment.